How to Clear a Country Pub in Less then 10 Seconds

The Art Deco styling of the Coramba Pub

The town in which we live nearby has, one general store, one primary school, and an old church. That is it - the rest is pasture and scattered housing. So when we want to have a night out we have to travel into the main centre of Coffs Harbour, or the closer but much smaller town of Coramba. Coffs Harbour has everything but I would hardly call it 'a great night out'. Coramba has only one small country pub - but they have a new chef - and it is Russell Crowe's local!

Heather, the book rep who travels up to our way every two months and stays with us, arrived at 5:30pm. She drove up the driveway very slowly to check out the lambs, especially her namesake. At 6pm we picked up the neighbours for dinner. We had decided to travel to Coramba, about 10minutes away, for dinner and drinks. The first time I had been to the pub meals were a ridiculous $30 each. But the new owner had meals from $11.50!

Our group of 5 was the best dressed in the pub - hardly surprising when usually there is a load of workmen with mullets - and that is just the women! We sat down to our meal and drinks and had a few laughs. One member of the group wanted to play the pokies and I commented what a waste of money and they are boring. So I took my $2 to the jukebox. Normally a person would choose a tune and then put the money into the slot, but I put the money in straight away and then stressed about the music. I knew that once I choose one song it would play with everyone looking at me should the choice be strange. My eyes scanned the lists and I saw that they Danish music, R&B, Rock/Folk.... wait up! Danish music in a country Australian pub? Then they had hits of Finland? The choice was then too easy. I picked two Finnish songs and then a normal folk song.

The music was loud with the strange tones of a female Finnish singer blearing out. As I walked back to our group I saw the looks on their faces "What the f#&k is this music?" The workman grabbed their hats, finished their beer, and left the pub. We were the only people left in the bar, seriously the only people left! The bartender started cleaning up and someone in the group apologised for ruining the bartender's night. He smiled and thanked us for clearing everyone out - he even commented that perhaps I could be used in the future to get rid of the stranglers.

Finnish music is the way to clear out men in a pub. A lesson to you all.

The Last Cut is the Deepest

Before - trees taking over driveway

Bella inspect the work

We have been scrambling to get a few projects finished before summer. Once summer hits it will be 40 degree days, rain, and leeches. We want to be in a position where a quick mow of the lawns and some feeding of the animals are all that needs to be accomplished - the rest will be eating, and drinking beer from the tap.

Let there be light

From the beginning we knew the driveway needed some attention. The driveway has been cut into a hill with nothing but Mother Nature to retain the exposed bank. Along one side of the driveway Jacaranda trees and Hibisticius bushes have been planted - when they flower it is fantastic. However native trees have been allowed to grow too close to the exposed bank blocking the light and forcing the bushes/trees to grow in weird shapes, while creating mould on the plants. While one would think the trees growing along the bank would retain the bank, you would be wrong. The trees fall into the driveway once they get too big and cause even more erosion. So we basically knew that at some stage the native trees along the bank needed to be cut down leaving about 1 metre clear along the bank.

The trees start growing

Myles and I started on a weekend and made some fantastic progress. The driveway is about 500 metres long and we cut 100 of them. Using a chainsaw and handcutters we freed the good trees and removed the lantana strangling the area. The naive ferns will be allowed to grow along the bank greening everything up. I was still pumped the next day so got some help to continue down the driveway. Myles was working in the office so hired externally. We both ripped the guts out of the driveway and finished another 300 metres. To say we were both stuffed was an understatement - I slept well that night. There is only another 100 metres to go but I think we will wait for the RFS to complete a burn off in the area.

But the good trees and the sheep are enjoying a bit more sunlight.

Cutting Grass

Well we have almost been here for one year. I don't feel we have accomplished an awful lot but when people visit, make a delivery, or inspect the property people are amazed at what we have done. The grass is short in the paddocks, the house is now clear of trees and the potential for fire hazards, the drive way is no longer over run by native trees, and we have visible fruit trees.

The new tires

The paddocks used to have extremely long nasty grass that the animals could not eat. We naively thought that putting animals on the land would shorten the grass - thus keeping away the many snakes. WRONG! The sheep and goats hated the grass. Myles bought a ride-on mower from eBay - usual I know but he did get it 2K cheaper than retail. The unfortunate part was that this mower could not go up slopes, actually unless the ground was completely flat you would get stuck. This pretty much made the mower a white elephant and was only used to make the grass around the house look pretty. A neighbour told us to employ the services of a slasher (tractor with massive blades on it) but we had thought that was going to be pretty expensive. Myles called in March and we were surprised to learn it would cost a meagre $200. Why didn't we do that in the beginning? - 'cos we were dumb!

Nicely Mowed

So after the slashing the grass was still a little mangy and we knew that slasher would be required in the next few months to ensure we had great grass for summer. Mick, Myles' father visited last month and looked at the problem and advised that if we changed the tires on the mower we could get the traction we required. Mick used to run a retail lawnmower business so he must know what he was talking about. We had been advised earlier that changing tires would not make a difference. Anyway we took his advice and changed the tires - and what would you know - I can now mower the paddocks with the ride-on. While $200 wasn't much - neither is $10 worth of fuel. Thanks Mick!

Frosty Boy

Those who are, or were, living in New Zealand will remember the ice-cream truck traveling down those suburban streets to the tune of Greensleeves while children ran for miles around with a 50cents to buy a cone, or if they were lucky to get one with a Flake chocolate bar stabbed into the delicious soft ice cream - mmmmm. That is not what I am talking about today - but I am reminded of the mental torment I was put though with those so called protectors of my youth, my parents :)

No it's no a youth on the streets of London

The truck could be heard traveling down the street and my siblings and I would beg our parents for an ice cream. Usually, my Dad would say "Ask and you don't get" so we would remain quiet the next time the truck came around - still we didn't get an ice cream and when we said something my Father would look all innocent and say "You didn't ask, so you didn't get". We questioned his logic but at our tender age we didn't realise that he was just playing with our minds and there was no way of getting an ice cream. And that is why today I am often seen running behind the back of a truck that has loud classical music blaring from the stereo - not very often there is even ice-cream in that truck.

But onto today - I got up very early and put the fire on. It was pretty chilly and the dogs didn't even stir. The fire warmed the house up beautifully and I had breakfast - homemade bread with homemade marmalade. Myles and I then set off on our walk down to the fire station, and back. As the door opened a cold blast of air hit as fair square in the face. Fritz had long decided that mornings were too cold and he refused to get out of bed and Bella is just plan crazy and will walk anytime. Myles dragged Fritz outside and we started our walk commenting that it might have been a good idea to bring gloves. We just walked faster to keep warm. At the bottom of the hill we noticed the neighbours property had a bit of frost - it was not crunchie like in New Zealand but still impressive. At the end of the walk Fritz and Bella got to play in a field not even noticing they were rolling in ice - it's nice to be an insane dog!

Fire Fire Fire!

I'm not taking about the recent riots in London but a few fires that have been lit on the property. While you might think that is a little scary they have actually been either lit by us or the RFS (Rural Fire Service).

Having a fire is the most efficient way of cleaning up old branches and leaves or for ensuring in the fire season there is less fuel to potentially cause some damage. We had 2 rather large piles of branches that we had been waiting for the RFS to burn, for 6 months! They were obviously busy and we were rather impatient. Rather than wait we took the initiative, and the match to the piles. The first fire took 5 days to burn all the branches with both Myles and I raking the fire onto itself to ensure it kept burning. Myles wanted to leave the larger fire unlit until his father arrived - as some form of entertainment.

My big fire at night

We lit the second fire with the help of the neighbour, some beer, and a bottle of wine - plus a packet of Doritos. I started the fire from the bottom of the gully using an old Girl Guide trick while the neighbour started up top using some accelerant. Mine ended up wining the biggest flame competition and I can now say mine was bigger than his. Mick, Myles' Father tried to help out but fell down the bank and he was banished to the safety of the track. We still haven't finished that fire but are damn close to seeing it gone.

Te RFS hard at work

On Sunday we arranged to go fishing in the bottom damn - we think there are eels and possible some fish down there. Unfortunately the RFS turned up a couple of hours beforehand and asked if they could practice fire fighting on one of our banks that had a lot of fuel. Naturally we agreed, and were excited that this also meant a large area was going to be burnt later in the week - ensuring some of the houses in the area would be safer in summer. As soon as the fire was started we heard a mighty rumble from out Dorrigo way - the clouds were getting darker and we knew some rain would eventually drown us out. There had been no rain for 5 weeks making it an ideal time to burn all the properties - making them safer. So naturally when a burn off was arranged it was going to rain so it couldn't happen. Not only did it rain 30mins later but it also hailed and we rushed undercover to the safety of our beer.

The burn off might happen on Saturday now - or it could continue raining. With our luck it will continue raining!

The Mining Problem

So it has been 1 month since my last update. The weather has been so good that every spare second has been spent getting the property ready for summer - summer is all about beer and fishing! Everything grows so quickly in Summer that you might as well just let it run wild - in winter everything stops growing and you can make some real progress.

The Driveway
The driveway has been completely overgrown for years. The bank on one side has been slowly eroding pushing trees onto the driveway. Myles and I have always had plans to clean it up but have always been weary because of the chance of snakes and the fact that it is just plan hard work. So 3 weeks ago we just decided to go for it and trim everything back - the snakes are still sleeping but for how long? Together we cleared a quarter of the driveway. I then enlisted some help and cleared up to the 3/4 mark the next day. Already the Jacaranda Trees and Hibiscus have started re-sprouting meaning wonderful colour during the summer months.

Mining Time

The Dams were used to hold water to clean the gold

We have been informed the area is being surveyed and could be mined in the next few month. Originally this area was a small gold mine with some features still evident with the layout. I guess with the price of gold going up areas that were not financially viable are now profitable. We find out whether the mining company is going to start buying land in the area and I guess things could change around here.

There is so much to catchup up on so will try to update everyday.

A Day at the Fair

The Frost in the Paddock

The last few mornings have been rather cool. We are lucky because the house is rather exposed to the sunlight so when we wake the sun has done it's work. However the roof has had ice on it which is pretty neat! This morning was slightly different - we had frost in the paddock! I haven't seen, or felt, frost since leaving New Zealand and love how the grass crunches under your feet. So the neighbours are not entirely incorrect that it gets cold up here - but it doesn't feel freezing.

After seeing the frost I started making lunch for a couple of people visiting - overnight I decided to make a potato and leek flan/tart. As usual it was all guess work and again I made the pastry from scratch. Just as I finished cooking we received a call cancelling the lunch - hmpf! So while I was rather disappointed it gave us the opportunity to visit the Orara Valley Fair just up the road.

Potato and Leek Flan

Caramelise a finely cut leek using butter and sugar. Deglaze with some white wine and then add finely sliced potato, fennel, and chicken stock. Cook until the potato is tender and the juices evaporated. Let cool and then add 3 eggs and 1 cup of grated cheese. Mix around pour into a pre-cooked pie base. Add some chopped parsley and bake in the oven for about 30mins or until the top is crispy.

The Fair

We had been told that in previous years people have been bogged in the Fair carpark so we took the ute down. Upon arriving we saw our neighbours Renae and Andrew getting their kids ready to visit the fair, so we joined them. Entry was $5 with proceeds going to the local RFS and we were greeting by Elvis (honky tonk style minus the hamburger gut) singing some tunes. It appeared that people from the whole area had come down to see the fair. Unfortunately there wasn't a lot to see or do, and as it happens, eat! I immediately came up with 3 ideas of low cost activities that could have been implemented and think I should get on the committee. Andrew got a pizza that took approx 15 minutes to arrive and Renae got an ice cream for the kids which took about 10 minutes - so not well organised by the owners! We were told there were kebabs around the corner so Myles and I waited.

I'm not sure if his parents have taught him how to get food in his mouth?

There was a demonstration of old farm machinery where it was difficult to stay awake for both the demonstrators and the spectators alike. Next door was a sign promoting 'Hay Rides' a rather large lady was sitting on a bale of hay next to the sign - I naturally thought that was the ride but was disappointed to see a tractor with a trailer on the back packed with hay. Needless to say I thought it was a pretty lame ride seeing I could get into the back of my little tractor for free - and yet there was a huge queue!

The little shops were crap and commercial. Where was the Country Women's Association's stands, where was the cake?! We all lined up at the kebab place and the cashier yelled out "Who wants to order?" The whole queue got rather annoyed that he had to ask because we all wanted to order, about 30 people! 15 minutes later Myles placed our order and waited at the serving area. About 20 minutes after that we worked out the staff were feeding their friends and weren't making our kebabs. Something was said, in not a nice way, and another 10 minutes later we had our kebabs. Not Happy Jan!

After the kebabs were finished we looked around the rest of the fair and then went home to clean the solar panels and cut down some more trees. A rather nice day.